1
00:00:02,827 --> 00:00:03,896
Hey! Guess what?

2
00:00:03,965 --> 00:00:05,241
The new yorker

3
00:00:05,310 --> 00:00:07,068
accepted my short story?

4
00:00:07,137 --> 00:00:10,344
Mrs. Quick read my essay
"how math applies to real life."

5
00:00:10,413 --> 00:00:13,344
She wants me to read it
in front of our math class.

6
00:00:13,413 --> 00:00:15,137
That'’s wonderful!

7
00:00:15,206 --> 00:00:16,241
Isn'’t it, Zelda?

8
00:00:16,310 --> 00:00:16,931
Zelda?

9
00:00:17,000 --> 00:00:18,000
Zelda!

10
00:00:22,068 --> 00:00:24,931
[ Yelling]: Attention, Zelda.

11
00:00:25,000 --> 00:00:27,206
Did you say something?

12
00:00:27,275 --> 00:00:28,344
Oh, i'’m sorry.

13
00:00:28,413 --> 00:00:30,310
I have to present a paper

14
00:00:30,379 --> 00:00:34,034
at a big scientific
symposium in the other realm

15
00:00:34,103 --> 00:00:36,517
and I have so much
more research to do...

16
00:00:36,586 --> 00:00:38,758
I just wanted to
tell you about my...

17
00:00:38,827 --> 00:00:39,827
Aunt Zelda?

18
00:00:39,862 --> 00:00:41,000
Aunt Zelda!!

19
00:00:41,068 --> 00:00:42,620
I am really worried about her.

20
00:00:42,689 --> 00:00:44,965
She hasn'’t eaten
or slept in days.

21
00:00:45,034 --> 00:00:48,068
She'’s even been too
busy to disapprove of me.

22
00:00:48,137 --> 00:00:50,172
She mustbe dead.

23
00:00:50,241 --> 00:00:51,586
She'’s been working too hard.

24
00:00:51,655 --> 00:00:52,965
She needs to relax.

25
00:00:53,034 --> 00:00:55,862
We could try
aromatherapy or... a mallet?

26
00:00:55,931 --> 00:00:58,724
I know what to do.

27
00:00:58,793 --> 00:01:00,413
Aloha!

28
00:01:00,482 --> 00:01:01,482
It'’s hopeless.

29
00:01:01,517 --> 00:01:03,206
Let'’s have a luau.

30
00:01:03,275 --> 00:01:06,241
No, thanks. A mai-tai
might make me groggy

31
00:01:06,310 --> 00:01:07,551
for homeroom.

32
00:01:07,620 --> 00:01:09,448
[ Chuckling]: The...
catcould party.

33
00:01:09,517 --> 00:01:11,413
[ Slurping]: Mmm...

34
00:01:27,724 --> 00:01:29,241
I'’m Betsy Ross.

35
00:01:29,310 --> 00:01:31,724
You need a flag by when?

36
00:01:35,413 --> 00:01:37,586
What did Mrs. Quick
like about your essay?

37
00:01:37,655 --> 00:01:39,551
That my ideas were
clear and concise.

38
00:01:39,620 --> 00:01:40,896
Clear, concise... got it.

39
00:01:40,965 --> 00:01:42,896
Next time I write an essay

40
00:01:42,965 --> 00:01:44,413
i'’ll be fuzzy and wordy.

41
00:01:44,482 --> 00:01:47,655
That way i'’ll avoid the
terror you'’re about to endure.

42
00:01:47,724 --> 00:01:49,931
It'’s just in front of a
few other students.

43
00:01:50,000 --> 00:01:51,034
What'’s the big deal?

44
00:01:51,103 --> 00:01:53,758
Sabrina, guess what... I
liked your essay so much

45
00:01:53,827 --> 00:01:55,448
i'’ve arranged
for you to read it

46
00:01:55,517 --> 00:01:57,931
in front of all of the
math classes in school.

47
00:01:58,000 --> 00:01:59,068
[ Gasping]

48
00:01:59,137 --> 00:02:00,379
[ Hyperventilating]

49
00:02:00,448 --> 00:02:02,965
Valerie seems to think
there'’s something stressful

50
00:02:03,034 --> 00:02:04,517
about speaking in public.

51
00:02:04,586 --> 00:02:05,689
What do you think?

52
00:02:05,758 --> 00:02:07,034
Oh, I Don'’t know.

53
00:02:07,103 --> 00:02:08,517
I Don'’t get stressed.

54
00:02:08,586 --> 00:02:10,034
I get hives.

55
00:02:10,103 --> 00:02:11,758
Salem: Feed me!

56
00:02:11,827 --> 00:02:13,482
Is she still working?

57
00:02:13,551 --> 00:02:16,034
She'’s supposed to
feed me every half hour.

58
00:02:16,103 --> 00:02:17,448
[ Sobbing]: I'’m so weak...

59
00:02:17,517 --> 00:02:19,448
I'’m in the mood for crepes.

60
00:02:19,517 --> 00:02:22,344
I'’ve come up with a plan
to bring Zelda back to reality.

61
00:02:22,413 --> 00:02:24,068
Or... youcould feed me.

62
00:02:26,896 --> 00:02:29,586
"Divide that by
equal parts of..."

63
00:02:29,655 --> 00:02:31,689
I must need new glasses.

64
00:02:31,758 --> 00:02:32,689
Zelda?

65
00:02:32,758 --> 00:02:35,310
You have us all really worried.

66
00:02:35,379 --> 00:02:38,310
I'’m attaining a deeper
understanding of molecules.

67
00:02:38,379 --> 00:02:40,000
I want to ennoble humanity.

68
00:02:40,068 --> 00:02:42,137
I know, and that
has to stop right now.

69
00:02:42,206 --> 00:02:44,448
Maybe I havebeen
working too hard.

70
00:02:44,517 --> 00:02:46,586
But I just can'’t
stop cold Turkey.

71
00:02:46,655 --> 00:02:48,206
Turkey! Please!

72
00:02:48,275 --> 00:02:49,517
Don'’t worry.

73
00:02:49,586 --> 00:02:51,827
I'’ve come up with a
plan that will keep you

74
00:02:51,896 --> 00:02:54,310
occupied andrelaxed
at the same time.

75
00:02:54,379 --> 00:02:55,896
Come with me.

76
00:02:57,689 --> 00:03:00,310
Now.

77
00:03:00,379 --> 00:03:03,034
We'’ve always wanted to
organize the family photos.

78
00:03:03,103 --> 00:03:04,482
You'’ll be able to keep busy

79
00:03:04,551 --> 00:03:06,551
without working
yourself into a frenzy.

80
00:03:06,620 --> 00:03:08,000
Oh...

81
00:03:08,068 --> 00:03:10,793
I'’ve always loved this
picture of uncle toots.

82
00:03:10,862 --> 00:03:12,379
I'’ll put it right here.

83
00:03:12,448 --> 00:03:13,241
Good.

84
00:03:13,310 --> 00:03:15,241
Oh, this isrelaxing.

85
00:03:15,310 --> 00:03:19,172
Maybe cousin Emma'’s photo
would be better on this page.Zelda...

86
00:03:19,241 --> 00:03:21,758
Let'’s see... uncle toot'’s
black hair would look best

87
00:03:21,827 --> 00:03:23,482
next to uncle
Emmet'’s yellow teeth.

88
00:03:23,551 --> 00:03:24,275
Zelda!

89
00:03:24,344 --> 00:03:25,689
Or should I arrange them by

90
00:03:25,758 --> 00:03:26,586
head size?

91
00:03:26,655 --> 00:03:27,586
Aren'’t you going

92
00:03:27,655 --> 00:03:28,793
to congratulate me?

93
00:03:28,862 --> 00:03:30,068
I'’m your new spring queen.

94
00:03:30,137 --> 00:03:31,482
We haven'’t voted

95
00:03:31,551 --> 00:03:32,793
for that yet.

96
00:03:32,862 --> 00:03:35,103
[ Chuckling]: Voting...
you'’re so naive.

97
00:03:35,172 --> 00:03:38,689
Come Friday and the gap
between us will be even greater

98
00:03:38,758 --> 00:03:40,965
due to my... royal station.

99
00:03:41,034 --> 00:03:43,517
I'’d genuflect, but my
tatertots are getting cold.

100
00:03:43,586 --> 00:03:45,448
[ Huffing]

101
00:03:45,517 --> 00:03:47,862
Well, i'’m going
out for track again.

102
00:03:47,931 --> 00:03:48,965
But last year

103
00:03:49,034 --> 00:03:51,551
you impaled yourself
on the hurdles.

104
00:03:51,620 --> 00:03:53,000
Yes, but on the bright side

105
00:03:53,068 --> 00:03:55,448
I discovered I also
enjoy food through a tube.

106
00:03:55,517 --> 00:03:56,758
Hey, did you hear?

107
00:03:56,827 --> 00:03:59,482
Sabrina'’s reading her
essay to all the math classes.

108
00:03:59,551 --> 00:04:01,793
Oh, man, that'’s brave!

109
00:04:01,862 --> 00:04:03,862
What'’s the big deal...
What could go wrong?

110
00:04:03,931 --> 00:04:05,551
You might start vomiting...

111
00:04:05,620 --> 00:04:09,275
Or sweating... or sweating'’s
emotional cousin: Weeping.

112
00:04:09,344 --> 00:04:11,724
But none of these
things are shameful...

113
00:04:11,793 --> 00:04:16,137
Unless you have a problem
with a nickname like "pit-stains."

114
00:04:16,206 --> 00:04:18,068
Sabrina, here'’s some good news:

115
00:04:18,137 --> 00:04:20,379
It took some doing,
but I convinced Mr. Kraft

116
00:04:20,448 --> 00:04:22,931
to let you read your essay
at tomorrow'’s assembly!

117
00:04:25,413 --> 00:04:26,862
Does this look infected?

118
00:04:26,931 --> 00:04:27,931
Oh...

119
00:04:29,172 --> 00:04:31,413
So, tomorrow'’s assembly.

120
00:04:31,482 --> 00:04:35,689
I'’ll be in the front row,
just like I was for Titanic...

121
00:04:35,758 --> 00:04:38,413
Only this'’ll be way
more disastrous.

122
00:04:38,482 --> 00:04:41,655
I'’ve got to find Mr. Kraft
and tell him I can'’t do this.

123
00:04:41,724 --> 00:04:43,482
You have to do
it... It'’s all set.

124
00:04:43,551 --> 00:04:46,379
I tried to get Steve Allen,
but he'’s already booked

125
00:04:46,448 --> 00:04:47,896
so now it'’s all up to you.

126
00:04:47,965 --> 00:04:49,310
It'’s just an assembly.

127
00:04:49,379 --> 00:04:50,758
No, it is the first assembly

128
00:04:50,827 --> 00:04:53,172
that principal larew
has put me in charge of

129
00:04:53,241 --> 00:04:54,896
so it has to be a great speech.

130
00:04:54,965 --> 00:04:57,482
We are talking f.D.R.'’s
first inaugural address

131
00:04:57,551 --> 00:04:59,724
we are talking
Lincoln at gettysburg

132
00:04:59,793 --> 00:05:03,137
we are talking Billy
crystal at the oscars.

133
00:05:03,206 --> 00:05:05,758
Has to be thatgood.

134
00:05:05,827 --> 00:05:11,206
Well, "pit-stain spellman"
does have a certain ring to it.

135
00:05:11,275 --> 00:05:12,793
Salem: This is so good...

136
00:05:12,862 --> 00:05:14,413
What is it? A sour ball

137
00:05:14,482 --> 00:05:16,034
I found under the couch.

138
00:05:16,103 --> 00:05:17,206
Hey, how was school?

139
00:05:17,275 --> 00:05:19,241
Awful. I have a big problem.

140
00:05:19,310 --> 00:05:21,310
I got to talk to aunt Zelda.

141
00:05:21,379 --> 00:05:24,655
Wait. Why do you always go
to Zelda with your problems?

142
00:05:24,724 --> 00:05:26,551
I mean, i'’m your aunt, too.

143
00:05:26,620 --> 00:05:28,586
Why Don'’t you tell
me what'’s going on?

144
00:05:28,655 --> 00:05:31,413
Okay... well, I have to read
an essay at an assembly

145
00:05:31,482 --> 00:05:32,482
and i'’m terrified.

146
00:05:32,517 --> 00:05:33,862
Ooh, this isa problem.

147
00:05:33,931 --> 00:05:37,275
Have you considered
running away from it?

148
00:05:37,344 --> 00:05:38,620
That was my first thought.

149
00:05:38,689 --> 00:05:40,724
Aunt hilda, you really
underestimate me.

150
00:05:40,793 --> 00:05:42,448
Wait, wait. Give me
a second chance.

151
00:05:42,517 --> 00:05:43,758
I know... a little fear

152
00:05:43,827 --> 00:05:45,137
can be a good thing.

153
00:05:45,206 --> 00:05:48,241
You have to learn to
live with it and deal with it.

154
00:05:48,310 --> 00:05:51,896
That isgood advice... But
not what I wanted to hear.

155
00:05:51,965 --> 00:05:53,586
What am I going to do?!

156
00:05:53,655 --> 00:05:55,241
What am igoing to do?

157
00:05:55,310 --> 00:05:56,655
Should I talk to Zelda?

158
00:05:56,724 --> 00:06:00,517
Is that a jolly rancher
under the table?

159
00:06:00,586 --> 00:06:02,310
Zelda, Sabrina has a problem.

160
00:06:02,379 --> 00:06:05,068
Uncle Morris'’ picture
will completely destroy

161
00:06:05,137 --> 00:06:06,620
the uncle Emmet sequence.

162
00:06:06,689 --> 00:06:07,689
Zelda?

163
00:06:08,586 --> 00:06:09,241
Zelda?

164
00:06:09,310 --> 00:06:13,793
Danger, will Robinson.

165
00:06:13,862 --> 00:06:15,068
Zelda?

166
00:06:15,137 --> 00:06:16,137
Zelda, what happened?

167
00:06:16,206 --> 00:06:17,551
Speak to me.

168
00:06:17,620 --> 00:06:22,310
[ Bimbo voice]: Oh,
I loveyour lipstick.

169
00:06:22,379 --> 00:06:24,068
You are a classy broad.

170
00:06:24,137 --> 00:06:26,172
[ Giggling]: You got culture.

171
00:06:26,241 --> 00:06:26,793
Come again?

172
00:06:26,862 --> 00:06:28,172
Come on, dollface.

173
00:06:28,241 --> 00:06:29,172
Let'’s do

174
00:06:29,241 --> 00:06:30,586
the Charleston.

175
00:06:30,655 --> 00:06:32,379
Something has happened to Zelda.

176
00:06:32,448 --> 00:06:34,344
I have to deal with it.

177
00:06:36,000 --> 00:06:38,206
Okay, dancing is not the answer.

178
00:06:40,275 --> 00:06:42,310
Sabrina? When you
going to come out

179
00:06:42,379 --> 00:06:43,793
from under your blanket?

180
00:06:43,862 --> 00:06:45,103
Never!

181
00:06:45,172 --> 00:06:46,310
Don'’t be afraid.

182
00:06:46,379 --> 00:06:47,793
Life is short.

183
00:06:47,862 --> 00:06:50,862
Oh, please. What fearless
thing have you done lately?

184
00:06:50,931 --> 00:06:54,689
Well, I-I-I slept in a pile of
laundry I wasn'’t familiar with.

185
00:06:54,758 --> 00:06:55,896
Look, haven'’t you

186
00:06:55,965 --> 00:06:58,344
figured this witch
thing out yet?

187
00:06:58,413 --> 00:07:00,000
The magic book?

188
00:07:00,068 --> 00:07:02,758
Unless you'’re afraid of itnow.

189
00:07:05,862 --> 00:07:08,620
Let'’s see...

190
00:07:08,689 --> 00:07:12,103
"Fear, removal of: See page 113.

191
00:07:12,172 --> 00:07:15,103
Before extracting
fear, see warning."

192
00:07:15,172 --> 00:07:17,206
Hello, Sabrina.

193
00:07:17,275 --> 00:07:18,793
Hey! Franklin delano Roosevelt!

194
00:07:18,862 --> 00:07:20,000
You'’re the guy who said

195
00:07:20,068 --> 00:07:22,137
"we have nothing
to fear but fear itself."

196
00:07:22,206 --> 00:07:24,517
Actually, what I
wanted to say was

197
00:07:24,586 --> 00:07:27,275
"we have nothing
to fear but poverty."

198
00:07:27,344 --> 00:07:30,034
But my advisors told
me I should come up with

199
00:07:30,103 --> 00:07:32,034
something a little punchier.

200
00:07:32,103 --> 00:07:34,413
Good line. Great delivery.

201
00:07:34,482 --> 00:07:35,620
Thanks.

202
00:07:35,689 --> 00:07:37,344
Sabrina, I must tell you

203
00:07:37,413 --> 00:07:40,344
that if you use your
magic to get rid of your fear

204
00:07:40,413 --> 00:07:43,896
it could cast a shadow
on the rest of your life.

205
00:07:43,965 --> 00:07:45,344
Have you ever read an essay

206
00:07:45,413 --> 00:07:47,172
in front of a high
school assembly?

207
00:07:47,241 --> 00:07:48,655
Well, no, but I did

208
00:07:48,724 --> 00:07:50,068
overcome polio

209
00:07:50,137 --> 00:07:52,586
to become the
leader of the free world

210
00:07:52,655 --> 00:07:54,379
and I carried this country

211
00:07:54,448 --> 00:07:57,862
through the biggest
economic crisis in its history.

212
00:07:57,931 --> 00:08:01,137
And I faced the
forces of totalitarianism

213
00:08:01,206 --> 00:08:04,758
in the gravest conflict
in recorded time.

214
00:08:04,827 --> 00:08:07,793
But you never had to
read an essay in front of

215
00:08:07,862 --> 00:08:09,310
a high school assembly?

216
00:08:09,379 --> 00:08:10,689
Uh... no.

217
00:08:10,758 --> 00:08:13,586
Well, then, you can'’t really
relate to what i'’m saying

218
00:08:13,655 --> 00:08:14,896
can you, Mr. President?

219
00:08:14,965 --> 00:08:16,655
Uh... "To activate fear removal

220
00:08:16,724 --> 00:08:20,689
drink a glass of water
while opened to this page."

221
00:08:26,448 --> 00:08:27,827
[ Hiccuping]

222
00:08:27,896 --> 00:08:28,896
[ Growling]

223
00:08:28,965 --> 00:08:30,551
Close the book.

224
00:08:30,620 --> 00:08:31,689
Close the book!

225
00:08:31,758 --> 00:08:33,793
Gee, Salem, Don'’t
be such a scaredy-cat.

226
00:08:33,862 --> 00:08:35,827
I can'’t wait for the
assembly tomorrow.

227
00:08:35,896 --> 00:08:37,103
My essay is gonna rock.

228
00:08:37,172 --> 00:08:38,965
Looks like your fear is gone.

229
00:08:39,034 --> 00:08:40,482
Yeah, you'’re right!

230
00:08:40,551 --> 00:08:43,206
The fear must have been
scared out of me! Whoo-hoo!

231
00:08:43,275 --> 00:08:44,310
Stop it!

232
00:08:44,379 --> 00:08:48,103
Oh, you know I
can'’t stand this ride!

233
00:08:48,172 --> 00:08:50,482
[ Sobbing]: Hold me.

234
00:08:50,551 --> 00:08:53,172
No doubt about it... A
clear case of witch snap.

235
00:08:53,241 --> 00:08:54,827
It happens to witches'’ minds

236
00:08:54,896 --> 00:08:56,655
when they'’ve been overworked.

237
00:08:56,724 --> 00:08:58,931
[ Soft, sexy voice]:
Okay, skipper.

238
00:08:59,000 --> 00:09:01,172
You and gilligan
forge for berries

239
00:09:01,241 --> 00:09:03,379
while I prepare
a coconut souffle.

240
00:09:03,448 --> 00:09:05,758
Why is she acting like that?

241
00:09:05,827 --> 00:09:08,172
Right now she'’s going
through gingersnap.

242
00:09:08,241 --> 00:09:10,827
I'’m glad you figured
that out, professor.

243
00:09:10,896 --> 00:09:14,793
Now maybe you can think of a
way to fix the hole in the boat.

244
00:09:14,862 --> 00:09:17,551
The only thing
that will cure her

245
00:09:17,620 --> 00:09:18,827
is no stress.

246
00:09:18,896 --> 00:09:21,724
So make sure that she
has nothing on her mind.

247
00:09:21,793 --> 00:09:25,241
If I recall that character
correctly, she doesn'’t.

248
00:09:25,310 --> 00:09:26,448
What'’s up, val?

249
00:09:26,517 --> 00:09:28,103
[ Screaming]: Why are you

250
00:09:28,172 --> 00:09:29,620
looking at me like that?

251
00:09:29,689 --> 00:09:31,931
You Don'’t want to
be my friend anymore

252
00:09:32,000 --> 00:09:32,896
do you?

253
00:09:32,965 --> 00:09:34,379
Valerie, are you all right?

254
00:09:34,448 --> 00:09:37,655
No. Sabrina keeps staring at
me and it'’s making me nervous.

255
00:09:37,724 --> 00:09:39,137
Maybe you should see the nurse.

256
00:09:39,206 --> 00:09:41,275
I was going to have
her check out my hives.

257
00:09:41,344 --> 00:09:42,655
I Don'’t see any hives.

258
00:09:42,724 --> 00:09:45,758
Oh! I can see the
nurse has poisoned you

259
00:09:45,827 --> 00:09:47,344
with her lies, too.

260
00:09:47,413 --> 00:09:49,482
Come on, Valerie.

261
00:09:49,551 --> 00:09:52,241
Wait a minute... Is
magic behind this?

262
00:09:52,310 --> 00:09:55,620
Come on, Sabrina,
Don'’t jump to conclusions.

263
00:09:55,689 --> 00:09:58,103
Attention everyone,
this is vice-principal kraft.

264
00:09:58,172 --> 00:09:59,827
I have an important
announcement.

265
00:09:59,896 --> 00:10:02,241
[ Screaming]: I
Don'’t want to die!

266
00:10:02,310 --> 00:10:03,551
Okay.

267
00:10:03,620 --> 00:10:05,896
Time to jump to conclusions.

268
00:10:07,448 --> 00:10:09,344
Zelda: Grab the stringy, Salem

269
00:10:09,413 --> 00:10:11,275
[ baby-voiced]: Isn'’t this fun?

270
00:10:11,344 --> 00:10:12,379
Hilda...

271
00:10:12,448 --> 00:10:14,241
It'’ll pass. She'’s
just going through

272
00:10:14,310 --> 00:10:16,103
the sugar snap
phase of witch snap.

273
00:10:16,172 --> 00:10:17,827
I'’m gonna give sa-wum a hug.

274
00:10:17,896 --> 00:10:20,655
[ Voice breaking]: Does
Kevorkian do animals?

275
00:10:20,724 --> 00:10:22,000
Unbelievable.

276
00:10:22,068 --> 00:10:24,379
Zelda balances this
checkbook every month

277
00:10:24,448 --> 00:10:26,965
and i'’ve never seen
her in a homicidal rage.

278
00:10:28,206 --> 00:10:30,586
Salem: If you feel
like killing someone

279
00:10:30,655 --> 00:10:32,586
might I suggest Zelda? Oh, no.

280
00:10:32,655 --> 00:10:35,344
Zelda, your
symposium is tonight.

281
00:10:35,413 --> 00:10:36,862
If your paper isn'’t presented

282
00:10:36,931 --> 00:10:38,655
you'’ll be kicked
out of the academy.

283
00:10:38,724 --> 00:10:41,448
Do you think you can pull
yourself together to give it?

284
00:10:41,517 --> 00:10:42,689
I gonna kiss you!

285
00:10:42,758 --> 00:10:44,275
Okay, that would be a "no."

286
00:10:44,344 --> 00:10:45,551
Hey, Sabrina.

287
00:10:45,620 --> 00:10:48,137
Zelda wants you to try to
balance that checkbook.

288
00:10:48,206 --> 00:10:49,344
I can'’t. I'’m too upset.

289
00:10:49,413 --> 00:10:50,827
I tried to overcome my fear

290
00:10:50,896 --> 00:10:53,068
by casting a spell,
and now there'’s this

291
00:10:53,137 --> 00:10:55,517
weird shadow following
people around school.

292
00:10:55,586 --> 00:10:57,793
Oh, no. If you use
magic to release your fear

293
00:10:57,862 --> 00:10:59,896
the fear gets loose
and preys on mortals.

294
00:10:59,965 --> 00:11:02,310
Didn'’t Millard
Fillmore warn you?

295
00:11:02,379 --> 00:11:05,034
Actually, it was f.D.R.,
but I blew him off.

296
00:11:05,103 --> 00:11:07,793
F.d.r.? Oh, they'’ve
upgraded the magic book.

297
00:11:07,862 --> 00:11:08,965
Salem: Excuse me...

298
00:11:09,034 --> 00:11:11,241
Aren'’t we in the
midst of a crisis here?

299
00:11:11,310 --> 00:11:12,793
Right. You'’ve got to go back

300
00:11:12,862 --> 00:11:15,758
and get everyone who'’s been
affected by your fear shadow

301
00:11:15,827 --> 00:11:17,000
to come home with you.

302
00:11:17,068 --> 00:11:19,034
Oh, no problem. Right
after I end hunger.

303
00:11:19,103 --> 00:11:21,586
And hurry... the longer
the shadow is loose

304
00:11:21,655 --> 00:11:23,758
the greater the
fear will grow. Okay!

305
00:11:23,827 --> 00:11:26,172
When I said crisis,
I meant Zelda.

306
00:11:26,241 --> 00:11:29,586
[ Voice breaking]: She'’s
putting booties on me.

307
00:11:34,965 --> 00:11:36,241
Wait, Valerie, stop!

308
00:11:36,310 --> 00:11:37,724
Why are you so afraid?

309
00:11:37,793 --> 00:11:39,689
The earth, the stars, space...

310
00:11:39,758 --> 00:11:41,965
We'’re decomposing as we speak!

311
00:11:42,034 --> 00:11:44,000
Mr. Kraft, I need
you to get everyone

312
00:11:44,068 --> 00:11:45,172
back to my house.

313
00:11:45,241 --> 00:11:46,827
That is just what
my enemies want.

314
00:11:46,896 --> 00:11:48,793
Enemies? I am
surrounded by enemies

315
00:11:48,862 --> 00:11:50,172
plotting behind my back.

316
00:11:50,241 --> 00:11:52,172
People who want
my assembly to fail.

317
00:11:52,241 --> 00:11:53,448
There'’s nothing behind

318
00:11:53,517 --> 00:11:54,517
your back except...

319
00:11:54,551 --> 00:11:55,965
[ Screams]Mr. Kraft

320
00:11:56,034 --> 00:11:58,413
when will you formally
make me spring queen?

321
00:11:58,482 --> 00:12:00,724
I know you... you'’re
one of the four horsemen.

322
00:12:00,793 --> 00:12:02,655
The one with too
much eye shadow.

323
00:12:02,724 --> 00:12:05,103
We should never have
stopped school prayer.

324
00:12:05,172 --> 00:12:07,275
Wait, why are you
wearing so much makeup?

325
00:12:07,344 --> 00:12:09,689
Because... what if i'’m
not made spring queen?

326
00:12:09,758 --> 00:12:12,344
Then the next thing you
know, i'’m not going to be

327
00:12:12,413 --> 00:12:13,586
summer Princess

328
00:12:13,655 --> 00:12:15,862
or Autumn empress
or winter goddess.

329
00:12:15,931 --> 00:12:19,586
What if I never win another
seasonal beauty pageant again?!

330
00:12:19,655 --> 00:12:20,793
[ Crying]

331
00:12:20,862 --> 00:12:23,310
Wait, you have some
lipstick on your teeth!

332
00:12:23,379 --> 00:12:25,379
My hives have
turned into gangrene.

333
00:12:25,448 --> 00:12:26,758
Will you cut off my arm?

334
00:12:26,827 --> 00:12:28,827
I have a hacksaw
back at my house.

335
00:12:28,896 --> 00:12:31,448
No! I can'’t risk being
exposed to sunlight.

336
00:12:31,517 --> 00:12:32,620
If you won'’t help me

337
00:12:32,689 --> 00:12:35,379
then i'’ll just have
to gnaw it off myself.

338
00:12:35,448 --> 00:12:36,448
Harvey!

339
00:12:36,482 --> 00:12:37,482
Don'’t touch me!

340
00:12:37,551 --> 00:12:38,827
You could break a bone.

341
00:12:38,896 --> 00:12:40,241
Good thing you stopped me.

342
00:12:40,310 --> 00:12:41,517
I would'’ve touched you.

343
00:12:41,586 --> 00:12:43,413
I just Don'’t want to get hurt.

344
00:12:43,482 --> 00:12:45,482
Football, hockey,
track, cards...

345
00:12:45,551 --> 00:12:47,103
They'’re all so dangerous.

346
00:12:47,172 --> 00:12:47,793
Cards?

347
00:12:47,862 --> 00:12:49,310
You ever had a paper cut?

348
00:12:49,379 --> 00:12:51,689
Who do you think
I am, Evel knievel?

349
00:12:58,137 --> 00:12:59,896
Attention! I'’ve
just been informed

350
00:12:59,965 --> 00:13:02,517
that Vermont has declared
war on Massachusetts.

351
00:13:02,586 --> 00:13:04,862
Luckily, there'’s a bomb
shelter at my house.

352
00:13:04,931 --> 00:13:06,896
If we hurry, we
can get there in time

353
00:13:06,965 --> 00:13:09,379
but the most important
thing to remember is...

354
00:13:09,448 --> 00:13:10,517
Don'’t panic!

355
00:13:10,586 --> 00:13:12,551
[ All screaming]

356
00:13:21,517 --> 00:13:22,724
Okay, Salem...

357
00:13:22,793 --> 00:13:25,517
Since I have to present
Zelda'’s paper for her

358
00:13:25,586 --> 00:13:26,517
you have to help me.

359
00:13:26,586 --> 00:13:27,241
Okay.

360
00:13:27,310 --> 00:13:30,862
"The uses of the hyraxine..."

361
00:13:30,931 --> 00:13:32,275
It'’s pronounced

362
00:13:32,344 --> 00:13:33,344
"hi-rax-zeen."

363
00:13:33,413 --> 00:13:34,758
Zelda, you'’re back!

364
00:13:34,827 --> 00:13:36,965
It'’s pronounced "hi-rax-zeen."

365
00:13:37,034 --> 00:13:40,103
Uh-oh. Zelda, what'’s
your favorite soft drink?

366
00:13:40,172 --> 00:13:41,965
It'’s pronounced "hi-rax-zeen."

367
00:13:42,034 --> 00:13:45,172
Great. It'’s the biggest night
of Zelda'’s scientific career

368
00:13:45,241 --> 00:13:47,517
and she has the
verbal skills of a potato.

369
00:13:47,586 --> 00:13:49,620
It'’s pronounced "po-tah-to."

370
00:13:49,689 --> 00:13:52,517
Okay... I managed to
get everyone from school

371
00:13:52,586 --> 00:13:53,965
to come home with me.

372
00:13:54,034 --> 00:13:56,551
Great. Now get the shadow
through the linen closet

373
00:13:56,620 --> 00:13:57,862
and into the other realm.

374
00:13:57,931 --> 00:13:59,482
How do I get itinto the house

375
00:13:59,551 --> 00:14:01,034
and keep everyone else out?

376
00:14:01,103 --> 00:14:02,931
You know how
dogs can smell fear?

377
00:14:03,000 --> 00:14:04,517
Well, fear can smell dogs.

378
00:14:04,586 --> 00:14:06,655
Mr. Kraft: Let me
in the bomb shelter!

379
00:14:06,724 --> 00:14:08,827
Let me... A pack of wild dogs!

380
00:14:08,896 --> 00:14:10,000
[ Screams]

381
00:14:29,310 --> 00:14:30,241
[ Groans]

382
00:14:30,310 --> 00:14:31,965
I thought they'’d neverleave.

383
00:14:32,034 --> 00:14:34,448
Whew! Well, i'’m glad
we took care of that.

384
00:14:34,517 --> 00:14:37,000
They can handle my
fear in the other realm.

385
00:14:37,068 --> 00:14:39,103
You have to go there
and confront your fear

386
00:14:39,172 --> 00:14:40,551
or it will always haunt you.

387
00:14:40,620 --> 00:14:42,655
Isn'’t there a group
package available?

388
00:14:42,724 --> 00:14:43,827
Can you come?

389
00:14:43,896 --> 00:14:46,103
Oh, yeah, like I Don'’t
have enough to do.

390
00:14:46,172 --> 00:14:47,172
[ Blubbering]

391
00:14:47,241 --> 00:14:48,241
Stop that.

392
00:14:48,310 --> 00:14:49,413
Take the quizmaster.

393
00:14:49,482 --> 00:14:51,241
He'’s knowledgeable, resourceful

394
00:14:51,310 --> 00:14:52,310
and he'’s strong.

395
00:14:52,379 --> 00:14:53,655
I need someone strong?

396
00:14:53,724 --> 00:14:55,206
If you want to live. Now, go.

397
00:14:55,275 --> 00:14:57,034
I have a paper to give.

398
00:14:57,103 --> 00:14:59,379
Oh, I hate being
the responsible one.

399
00:15:04,344 --> 00:15:08,068
And once again, no one
remembers to feed the cat.

400
00:15:08,137 --> 00:15:09,551
Why'’s it so dark in here?

401
00:15:09,620 --> 00:15:12,241
Your fear shadow has
engulfed this whole area.

402
00:15:12,310 --> 00:15:13,896
Everything you encounter here

403
00:15:13,965 --> 00:15:16,206
will be one of your
subconscious fears.

404
00:15:16,275 --> 00:15:18,034
It is the forest of your fears.

405
00:15:18,103 --> 00:15:19,137
It'’s called that?

406
00:15:19,206 --> 00:15:21,344
Well, actually, it'’s
called pine valley.

407
00:15:21,413 --> 00:15:23,586
Anyway, I just flew
in from out of town

408
00:15:23,655 --> 00:15:27,172
and, uh, boy is my broom tired.

409
00:15:27,241 --> 00:15:28,689
[ Hilda laughing]

410
00:15:30,206 --> 00:15:32,586
Okay, so, on with the lecture.

411
00:15:35,655 --> 00:15:37,275
Okay, it, um...

412
00:15:37,344 --> 00:15:40,793
It starts with kind of
a... Triangular symbol

413
00:15:40,862 --> 00:15:42,413
and then I... I guess

414
00:15:42,482 --> 00:15:44,931
the scientific term
for what comes next

415
00:15:45,000 --> 00:15:47,689
would be the, um... thingy.

416
00:15:49,137 --> 00:15:50,379
This is hard.

417
00:15:50,448 --> 00:15:53,034
I... I just have to concentrate.

418
00:15:57,275 --> 00:15:59,172
Hilda... hilda, what
are you doing?

419
00:15:59,241 --> 00:16:00,517
What'’s going on?

420
00:16:00,586 --> 00:16:02,517
Oh, dear.

421
00:16:02,586 --> 00:16:05,103
♪ Eency, weency spider

422
00:16:05,172 --> 00:16:06,965
♪ went up the water spout...

423
00:16:09,379 --> 00:16:10,517
Now, you see that door?

424
00:16:10,586 --> 00:16:11,896
You have to make it

425
00:16:11,965 --> 00:16:13,827
through that door
without turning back.

426
00:16:13,896 --> 00:16:15,310
Is that all?

427
00:16:15,379 --> 00:16:18,793
I guess we came to the
forest of my fears on an off day.

428
00:16:21,344 --> 00:16:22,344
[ Screams]

429
00:16:22,827 --> 00:16:23,758
Mrs. Quick.

430
00:16:23,827 --> 00:16:25,482
She'’s not really Mrs. Quick.

431
00:16:25,551 --> 00:16:28,172
She'’s a symbolic
manifestation of your fears.

432
00:16:28,241 --> 00:16:30,103
But Mrs. Quick
doesn'’t scare me.

433
00:16:30,172 --> 00:16:31,586
Oh, i'’m so glad to hear that

434
00:16:31,655 --> 00:16:33,793
because i'’ve talked
to several universities

435
00:16:33,862 --> 00:16:35,275
and no one will accept you.

436
00:16:35,344 --> 00:16:36,965
I Don'’t like this game anymore.

437
00:16:37,034 --> 00:16:38,068
I'’m going home.

438
00:16:38,137 --> 00:16:40,137
Oh, Sabrina, you
have to move forward.

439
00:16:40,206 --> 00:16:41,482
You Don'’t know this

440
00:16:41,551 --> 00:16:44,448
but you'’re not going to do
very well on your s.A.T.S.

441
00:16:44,517 --> 00:16:46,379
No college, no future, Sabrina.

442
00:16:46,448 --> 00:16:47,620
I have your fast food

443
00:16:47,689 --> 00:16:48,758
uniform right here.

444
00:16:48,827 --> 00:16:50,896
No! No... no, i'’ll be okay.

445
00:16:50,965 --> 00:16:52,793
There'’s always trade school.

446
00:16:54,206 --> 00:16:55,413
Wow. I guess

447
00:16:55,482 --> 00:16:57,551
I amafraid of not
getting into college.

448
00:16:57,620 --> 00:16:59,103
Maybe that'’s my biggest fear.

449
00:16:59,172 --> 00:17:00,758
[ Yells][ Screams]

450
00:17:00,827 --> 00:17:03,448
No, it'’s people jumping
out from behind trees.

451
00:17:03,517 --> 00:17:06,586
Sabrina, you'’re a good
friend with a soft heart.

452
00:17:06,655 --> 00:17:08,068
Ooh, i'’m shaking.

453
00:17:08,137 --> 00:17:10,000
You should be...
Because a soft heart

454
00:17:10,068 --> 00:17:13,793
will only hold you
back in... The real world.

455
00:17:13,862 --> 00:17:15,931
You have to be
tough in the real world.

456
00:17:16,000 --> 00:17:17,379
You can'’t just be nice?

457
00:17:17,448 --> 00:17:18,931
Nice guys finish last, Sabrina.

458
00:17:19,000 --> 00:17:20,172
What about mister Rogers?

459
00:17:20,241 --> 00:17:21,689
Have you seen his ratings?

460
00:17:21,758 --> 00:17:23,965
And Jimmy Carter
and Audrey hepburn?

461
00:17:24,034 --> 00:17:26,724
I mean, occasionally,
nice people do succeed.

462
00:17:26,793 --> 00:17:28,344
You know what? I'’ve had enough.

463
00:17:28,413 --> 00:17:30,655
I'’m going to go back
to my room and cower.

464
00:17:30,724 --> 00:17:32,620
Sabrina, come on,
you'’re doing okay.

465
00:17:32,689 --> 00:17:33,862
You have to be brave.

466
00:17:33,931 --> 00:17:35,206
That way.

467
00:17:35,275 --> 00:17:36,965
Hilda, why Don'’t you sit here

468
00:17:37,034 --> 00:17:38,137
and occupy yourself

469
00:17:38,206 --> 00:17:40,310
while I talk to the
nice nobel laureates.

470
00:17:40,379 --> 00:17:42,000
[ Chuckling]

471
00:17:42,068 --> 00:17:46,241
Well, um, you came here
to hear me read my paper

472
00:17:46,310 --> 00:17:47,448
so let'’s

473
00:17:47,517 --> 00:17:48,689
get right to it.

474
00:17:48,758 --> 00:17:49,689
[ Gasps]

475
00:17:49,758 --> 00:17:50,758
Hilda, no!

476
00:17:59,000 --> 00:18:00,103
[ Yells]

477
00:18:00,172 --> 00:18:01,551
It-it'’s-it'’s a clown.

478
00:18:01,620 --> 00:18:02,862
I'’ve always been

479
00:18:02,931 --> 00:18:03,931
a-afraid of clowns.

480
00:18:04,000 --> 00:18:05,275
Oh, so the way you dress

481
00:18:05,344 --> 00:18:07,103
is how you confront yourfears?

482
00:18:07,172 --> 00:18:09,620
Are you afraid of being
snatched bald-headed?

483
00:18:09,689 --> 00:18:11,896
Because that'’s
what'’s going to happen.

484
00:18:11,965 --> 00:18:13,275
I'’m not afraid of clowns.

485
00:18:13,344 --> 00:18:15,103
Why are you scaring
the quizmaster

486
00:18:15,172 --> 00:18:16,689
in the forest of myfears?

487
00:18:16,758 --> 00:18:19,586
Libby: I'’m not going to waste
my scariness on you, freak.

488
00:18:19,655 --> 00:18:20,931
Although

489
00:18:21,000 --> 00:18:23,620
as long as i'’m here, I
may as well remind you

490
00:18:23,689 --> 00:18:27,034
that everybody has commented
on how you'’re... different.

491
00:18:27,103 --> 00:18:29,655
Hey, I Don'’t
care if Sabrina'’s...

492
00:18:29,724 --> 00:18:31,344
Different.

493
00:18:31,413 --> 00:18:32,827
[ Mr. Kraft chuckling]

494
00:18:32,896 --> 00:18:35,310
But she'’s not just different.

495
00:18:35,379 --> 00:18:36,275
I happen to know

496
00:18:36,344 --> 00:18:39,068
that she'’s a witch!

497
00:18:39,137 --> 00:18:42,000
All: You'’re a witch!
You'’re a witch!

498
00:18:42,068 --> 00:18:43,000
No!

499
00:18:43,068 --> 00:18:44,586
[ Screaming]

500
00:18:44,655 --> 00:18:46,068
You'’re a witch!
You'’re a witch!

501
00:18:46,137 --> 00:18:46,862
Wait a minute!

502
00:18:46,931 --> 00:18:47,758
You'’re right

503
00:18:47,827 --> 00:18:49,000
I am a witch

504
00:18:49,068 --> 00:18:50,517
and i'’m proud of being a witch

505
00:18:50,586 --> 00:18:52,586
because it means I can do this.

506
00:18:52,655 --> 00:18:53,896
Ah, way to go, Sabrina.

507
00:18:53,965 --> 00:18:56,586
Now, all you have to do
is walk through that door

508
00:18:56,655 --> 00:18:58,689
and face your
ultimate and final fear.

509
00:18:58,758 --> 00:19:00,689
Great. And if you find
my nervous system

510
00:19:00,758 --> 00:19:02,413
anywhere around,
i'’d like it back.

511
00:19:02,482 --> 00:19:04,034
And now, to read

512
00:19:04,103 --> 00:19:06,862
from her essay, "how
math applies to real life"

513
00:19:06,931 --> 00:19:08,793
Sabrina spellman.

514
00:19:17,310 --> 00:19:18,344
[ Clears throat]

515
00:19:18,413 --> 00:19:20,482
"In the beginning,
there was the word.

516
00:19:20,551 --> 00:19:22,724
"But in order to Mark
when the beginning was

517
00:19:22,793 --> 00:19:24,000
"we needed numbers

518
00:19:24,068 --> 00:19:26,862
"making math as big a
part of life as language

519
00:19:26,931 --> 00:19:29,000
although not
quite as big as TV."

520
00:19:29,068 --> 00:19:30,689
[ Laughter]

521
00:19:33,103 --> 00:19:36,034
"At first, math seemed so
complicated I was afraid of it

522
00:19:36,103 --> 00:19:38,724
"but once I took the time
to study, it wasn'’t scary

523
00:19:38,793 --> 00:19:41,724
"to me anymore, which proves
that knowledge and experience

524
00:19:41,793 --> 00:19:43,413
are the best
weapons against fear."

525
00:19:43,482 --> 00:19:44,413
Thank you.

526
00:19:44,482 --> 00:19:46,655
Whoo!

527
00:19:48,275 --> 00:19:50,034
Quizmaster: Great
speech, Sabrina.

528
00:19:50,103 --> 00:19:53,689
Now you can finally
face... Your fear.

529
00:19:53,758 --> 00:19:55,758
Wow, my fear looks
just like Steve Allen.

530
00:19:55,827 --> 00:19:56,758
[ Chuckling]

531
00:19:56,827 --> 00:19:58,551
I know what fear is, believe me.

532
00:19:58,620 --> 00:19:59,931
I did live TV.

533
00:20:00,000 --> 00:20:01,413
It'’s a pleasure to meet you.

534
00:20:01,482 --> 00:20:02,827
Wait a minute... meet.

535
00:20:02,896 --> 00:20:04,034
That rhymes with sweet.

536
00:20:04,103 --> 00:20:05,689
You gave me an idea for a song.

537
00:20:05,758 --> 00:20:07,689
♪

538
00:20:08,551 --> 00:20:10,172
He'’s gone! All right!

539
00:20:10,241 --> 00:20:12,206
Fear is out of my life forever.

540
00:20:12,275 --> 00:20:14,241
Not quite. He'’s
there to remind you

541
00:20:14,310 --> 00:20:16,931
that fear will always
be a part of you.

542
00:20:17,000 --> 00:20:18,689
Just be willing to deal with it.

543
00:20:18,758 --> 00:20:20,896
Will Steve Allen be
on all my clothes now?

544
00:20:20,965 --> 00:20:22,206
No, come on, Sabrina.

545
00:20:22,275 --> 00:20:24,344
Don'’t take everything
so seriously.

546
00:20:24,413 --> 00:20:25,413
Lighten up.

547
00:20:25,448 --> 00:20:26,896
All right, whatever you say.

548
00:20:28,344 --> 00:20:29,344
Oh...

549
00:20:29,379 --> 00:20:30,965
Clowns. Yeah, well, you know

550
00:20:31,034 --> 00:20:32,103
I can handle that.

551
00:20:32,172 --> 00:20:33,172
[ Honks]

552
00:20:37,689 --> 00:20:40,586
Mr. Kraft said it was up there with
something Steve Allen would do.

553
00:20:40,655 --> 00:20:42,310
That'’s nice, dear.

554
00:20:42,379 --> 00:20:44,241
Aunt Zelda, you seem
down in the dumps.

555
00:20:44,310 --> 00:20:46,000
Oh, it'’s nothing.

556
00:20:46,068 --> 00:20:48,965
Just my scientific career
is now in shambles.

557
00:20:49,034 --> 00:20:50,379
Hey, there'’s a message

558
00:20:50,448 --> 00:20:52,793
from the other
realm in the toaster.

559
00:20:52,862 --> 00:20:55,551
Get it out so I can
make an English muffin.

560
00:20:55,620 --> 00:20:56,689
I Don'’t believe it.

561
00:20:56,758 --> 00:20:58,482
Because of the symposium fiasco

562
00:20:58,551 --> 00:21:01,517
i'’ve been given a Grant to
study abnormal phenomena

563
00:21:01,586 --> 00:21:03,103
in already abnormal witches.

564
00:21:03,172 --> 00:21:04,896
Tank-a you, boys.

565
00:21:04,965 --> 00:21:06,586
The songs of Bavaria...

566
00:21:06,655 --> 00:21:08,586
We'’ll-a never forget them.

567
00:21:08,655 --> 00:21:11,413
Wonderful! She'’s in the
Lawrence Welk snap stage.

568
00:21:11,482 --> 00:21:12,586
This is perfect.

569
00:21:12,655 --> 00:21:14,827
And now, a little polka.

570
00:21:14,896 --> 00:21:17,034
And a one-a and a
two-a and a three-a.

571
00:21:17,103 --> 00:21:20,137
[ Playing polka]

572
00:21:20,206 --> 00:21:21,689
I didn'’t know it until now

573
00:21:21,758 --> 00:21:25,000
but aunt hilda playing the
accordion is my biggest fear.